Looking back and looking forward

I know that I've been very quite on the blogosphere for the last several weeks. I appreciate more than I can express all the comments and e-mails asking me how I'm doing and wishing me the best.

I won't bore you with the details here except to say that I'm in the middle of some type of depression. It's not earth-shattering and for those of you who have diabetes, it's probably not entirely unexpected. Taking care of a chronic disease is a big burden and it takes its toll. The good news is that I'm working pro actively to get this under control and get through it. And in the meantime I'm focusing on essential activities because I've not got a whole lot of energy for other things.

It's been a busy year on the blogosphere and busy one for me. I've been blessed with a lot of accomplishments over the last year, in no particular order:

• I met Allison and Mel in Boston. It's always fun to get together with fellow diabetics! If you're going to be near Boston in 2008, please let me know.
  
• I got to some meetings of the insulin pumpers group that meets in Woburn, MA each month. A fun, supportive and informative group. Every state should have a group like this.
  
• I marked my 35th year with diabetes by raising over $11,500 for research in a diabetes bike ride. Hint: it's not too late to support this.
  
• I received an award from Lilly and Joslin for 25 years with diabetes. Thanks Dr. Spatola for organizing this one.
  
• I setup the diabetes search engine. It now indexes over 800 sites and I like to think that it's helpful for folks.
  
• I joined the great TuDiabetes.com social networking site for diabetes. Big kudos to Manny for starting this.
  
• I worked together with Beth to start the diabetes365 project (originally her idea). As of today there are about 1,750 photos that give some insight into what it's like to live with diabetes.
  
• I almost completed NaBloPoMo for this year. I didn't post for every day of November. Next year will be better.
  
• I started using the Dexcom STS continuous glucose monitoring system and moved to the Dexcom SEVEN system later in the year. Life with a CGM is a lot easier, though it still has its frustrations.
  
• And of course I posted many blog entries. Along the way I hope that I informed some readers. I know that I learned a lot from your comments and I also managed to get lots of practice with my writing skills.
  

So what's in the cards for 2008?

• I'm getting some blood drawn in January as part of the research for Dr. Faustman's work on a possible cure for Type 1 diabetes. No, I'm not getting an early version of the cure, I'm just donating blood samples for the work. I hope to meet her and ask a few questions, I'll let you all know what I learn.
  
• I'll keep blogging, though maybe a little less.
  
• I hope to get involved in another fund-raising bike ride in September.
  
• Thanks to Wingman, I may take part in a run to raise awareness for diabetes.
  
• I'll continue to post photos to the diabetes365 project.
  
• As always I'll hope and pray for some real progress towards a cure for type 1 diabetes.

Happy New Year to everyone. I hope that 2008 will be a peaceful and better year for all of us.

Labels: CGM, Dexcom, diabetes, diabetes365, friendship, research, review, tudiabetes

posted by Bernard @ 11:57 AM 17 Comments Links to this post  

Accepting my friend

You know how it is with friends. Sometimes I meet someone by accident and feel like I've known them all of your life. There's a comfort there. I can spend all day with a good friend and still want for more.



Then there are more challenging friendships. I meet them and it's not an immediate connection. Whenever I'm with them I come away wondering how I feel about it. Was it uncomfortable? Well...maybe. Do I want to see them again? Yes and no. If anyone looked at me beside them they'd comment on how awkward it looked. "Why are you spending time with that guy, are you crazy?"

But with time it can grow into deep friendship and occasionally even love. Or sometimes I just learn to be with them. I start to understand where they're coming from and they mold me and change me whether I want them to or not. I get used to their walk, or the weird things they like to eat. Now when my family sees us together they say "Oh there go the two of them, again".

And much later in life I can look back and appreciate the value of acceptance.

My friend isn't perfect but they've helped me to see my own faults and weaknesses. Like it or not, their influence has been really helpful in lots of ways. Big and small.

I met this friend of mine a little over 35 years ago. Back them I was just a teenager with all the challenges that brings. And if you'd asked me then about it, I'd have told you how much I hated it. My diabetes.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about a cure. And what it would mean for me to say goodbye to diabetes.

You'll think me crazy, but I might even miss it a bit. Not always, maybe just when I see myself slipping from some of the good habits that diabetes has taught me. Like acceptance.

My child, you must follow and treasure my teachings and my instructions.
Keep in tune with wisdom and think what it means to have common sense.
Beg as loud as you can for good common sense.
Search for wisdom as you would search for silver or hidden treasure.
Then you will understand what it means to respect and to know the LORD God.
Proverbs 2:1-5.

Labels: acceptance, friendship, nablopomo

posted by Bernard @ 10:04 AM 5 Comments Links to this post