The bag we drag along
Beth's recent post about the things she carries around made me remember Robert Bly's book where he talks about the long bag we drag behind us.We spend our life until we're twenty deciding what parts of ourself to put into the bag, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.
I don't know why, but this seems like a perfect analogy for the part of my life with diabetes where I beat myself up for not doing a better job on my control, my diet, or something else that's related to my diabetes.
- I overeat when I shouldn't - that goes into my bag.
- I don't count the carbs correctly and my BGs go high - that goes into my bag.
- I get a low, overeat when correcting it, and have to bolus later to recover (from the low) - into my bag.
I don't make time to exercise like I should - my bag.
At some stage I look behind me and I'm dragging behind me a bag that's 3 city blocks long. No wonder I'm so tired!
In the end we're all just people with busy lives to lead, that are much more complicated because of our diabetes. So let's all give ourselves permission to make mistakes sometimes (often) and live as best we can with those.
Whatever you do, don't put your mistakes into the bag, put it back on your shoulder (feels heavy, doesn't it), and start pulling it along again.
posted by Bernard @ 7:51 AM
4 Comments:
I haven't been diabetic for very long, only a bit over 3 years, but during that time I've been very frustrated with the perception that since this is a self-treatment disease, any failure on our parts to meet the standards of "good diabetes" is a failure of our behavior. I love this post; what a clear and wonderful reminder that blame has no place in this illness.
Best of luck with your bag, may it shorten daily.
I vote for loading all of those bothersome thought in the bag and then leaving it on the side of the road and walking away..........(uhm, that is, if you're not ethically opposed to littering).
A great analogy what it's like.
It paints a great mental picture.
so THAT'S why my back is feeling like such a bugger lately....
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